By indyhaiders on April 16, 2025

Celebration of Stephen Bither’s life

A memorial service and the celebration of the life of Stephen Bither filled our church on April 10 for, including the reception afterward, almost four hours. For all the memories that were thought of, but could not be shared, it could have gone on longer — much longer.

More than 300 people attended the celebration, their cars filling our parking lot and overflowing well down Route 77 (Jim Tammaro was our energetic parking attendant). Every inch of the pews were filled (following the guidance of ushers Steve Hill and Priscilla Dreyman) and people sat on benches and folding chairs in the Narthex, looking through the open doors into the Sanctuary.

In her message, Pastor Kathleen talked about Stephen’s generosity of his “time, talent, money, and humor, and in his final days, while walking in the shadow of death, fighting cancer, he was discouraged because he wanted to do so much more”.

That “so much more” echoed throughout the Sanctuary when people praised Stephen for all he had done. Legendary Maine humorist Tim Sample, Wicked Good Band Member Jere DeWaters, old friends, new friends, many whom were touched by the unique blessings Stephen offered, all talked about his heart “as big as the State of Maine”.

When Dan Doughty read from the scripture Luke 21:1-4 about the widow, “For all these have contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in all she had to live on,” it was said about Stephen, “There’s something more important than material things”.

Stephen is still teaching us that lesson.

Stephen’s niece, Hannah Doughty, standing with Stephen’s partner Bonnie Harradon, read a poem she had written. In part she read, “He was a part of many great communities and never passed up leadership opportunities: Woodford’s Club president, Jazz Sunday founder, Bean Supper organizer, and do-good all-arounder. Stephen D. Bither was a really ‘good boy’. Such a brilliant mind and giver of joy. Finagling legal solutions, like a work of art, mentally calculating groceries, part by part.”

CEUMC Choir Director Faith York wrote an original hymn dedicated to Stephen titled, “Better Together”. In it, Faith and the choir sang, “We are always better together — we were always better together.”

Before reading the Lord’s Prayer, Stephen’s brother James told the gathering, “I’ve learned more about Stephen in the past few months than I ever knew”.

This is how far-reaching the legacy of Stephen Bither has been and always will be.

One of those legacy moments is the Jazz Sunday Stephen started at our church in 2009 and made it an always look-forward-to event on the Sunday before Ash Wednesday and Lent. This year’s Jazz Sunday on March 2 was dedicated to Stephen and he was in one of the front pews with Bonnie soaking in all the memories of what he had created.

During the Celebration Service, the Jazz ensemble of Paul Aranson (drums), Barry Daniels (clarinet) Peter Dunphy (banjo), Peter Lord (tenor sax), Tom Wilbur (sousaphone), and Faith (piano) played throughout the service. There was no greater tribute to Stephen than this!

There were memories expressed about the Deering High School Jug Band, the Yarmouth Clam Festival, the Portland Conservatory of Music, Music Sundays at our church (“It will all come together,” Stephen was fond of saying at the last minute), bicycle rides to Higgins Beach, and the “infectious joy of making something up with the Wicked Good Band, the Woodford’s Club, and on and on . . .

Toward the end of the service, led by the choir, the gathering sang “Swing Low Sweet Chariot”, and Jere DeWaters led the singing of “Pennies from Heaven”.

The final stanza of Hannah Doughty’s poem: “So here’s to you Steve, a man of music, faith, and love. I hope you’re playing your piano up in heaven above”.